I‘m here to recruit men to support gender equality。

　　Wait， wait。 What？ What do men have to do with gender equality？ Gender equality is about women， right？ I mean， the word gender is about women。 Actually， I‘m even here speaking as a middle class white man。

　　Now， I wasn‘t always a middle class white man。 It all happened for me about 30 years ago when I was in graduate school， and a bunch of us graduate students got together one day， and we said， you know， there’s an explosion of writing and thinking in feminist theory， but there‘s no courses yet。 So we did what graduate students typically do in a situation like that。 We said， OK， let’s have a study group。 We‘ll read a text， we’ll talk about it， we‘ll have a potluck dinner。

　　So every week， 11 women and me got together。

　　We would read some text in feminist theory and have a conversation about it。 And during one of our conversations， I witnessed an interaction that changed my life forever。 It was a conversation between two women。 One of the women was white， and one was black。 And the white woman said -- this is going to sound very anachronistic now -- the white woman said， “All women face the same oppression as women。 All women are similarly situated in patriarchy， and therefore all women have a kind of intuitive solidarity or sisterhood。” And the black woman said， “I‘m not so sure。 Let me ask you a question。” So the black woman says to the white woman， “When you wake up in the morning and you look in the mirror， what do you see？” And the white woman said， “I see a woman。” And the black woman said， “You see， that’s the problem for me。 Because when I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror，” she said， “I see a black woman。 To me， race is visible。 But to you， race is invisible。 You don‘t see it。” And then she said something really startling。 She said， “That’s how privilege works。 Privilege is invisible to those who have it。” It is a luxury， I will say to the white people sitting in this room， not to have to think about race every split second of our lives。 Privilege is invisible to those who have it。

　　Now remember， I was the only man in this group， so when I witnessed this， I went， “Oh no。”

　　And somebody said， “Well what was that reaction？” And I said， “Well， when I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror， I see a human being。 I‘m kind of the generic person。 You know， I’m a middle class white man。 I have no race， no class， no gender。 I‘m universally generalizable。”

　　So I like to think that was the moment I became a middle class white man， that class and race and gender were not about other people， they were about me。 I had to start thinking about them， and it had been privilege that had kept it invisible to me for so long。

　　Now， I wish I could tell you this story ends 30 years ago in that little discussion group， but I was reminded of it quite recently at my university where I teach。 I have a colleague， and she and I both teach the sociology of gender course on alternate semesters。 So she gives a guest lecture for me when I teach。 I give a guest lecture for her when she teaches。 So I walk into her class to give a guest lecture， about 300 students in the room， and as I walk in， one of the students looks up and says， “Oh， finally， an objective opinion。”

　　All that semester， whenever my colleague opened her mouth， what my students saw was a woman。 I mean， if you were to say to my students， “There is structural inequality based on gender in the United States，” they‘d say， “Well of course you’d say that。 You‘re a woman。 You’re biased。” When I say it， they go， “Wow， is that interesting。 Is that going to be on the test？ How do you spell ‘structural’？”

　　So I hope you all can see， this is what objectivity looks like。

　　Disembodied Western rationality。

　　And that， by the way， is why I think men so often wear ties。

　　Because if you are going to embody disembodied Western rationality， you need a signifier， and what could be a better signifier of disembodied Western rationality than a garment that at one end is a noose and the other end points to the genitals？

　　That is mind-body dualism right there。

　　So making gender visible to men is the first step to engaging men to support gender equality。

　　Now， when men first hear about gender equality， when they first start thinking about it， they often think， many men think， well， that‘s right， that’s fair， that‘s just， that’s the ethical imperative。 But not all men。 Some men think -- the lightning bolt goes off， and they go， “Oh my God， yes， gender equality，” and they will immediately begin to mansplain to you your oppression。 They see supporting gender equality something akin to the calvary， like， “Thanks very much for bringing this to our attention， ladies， we‘ll take it from here。” This results in a syndrome that I like to call ’premature self-congratulation。‘

　　There‘s another group， though， that actively resists gender equality， that sees gender equality as something that is detrimental to men。 I was on a TV talk show opposite four white men。 This is the beginning of the book I wrote， ’Angry White Men。‘ These were four angry white men who believed that they， white men in America， were the victims of reverse discrimination in the workplace。 And they all told stories about how they were qualified for jobs， qualified for promotions， they didn’t get them， they were really angry。 And the reason I‘m telling you this is I want you to hear the title of this particular show。 It was a quote from one of the men， and the quote was， “A Black Woman Stole My Job。” And they all told their stories， qualified for jobs， qualified for promotions， didn’t get it， really angry。 And then it was my turn to speak， and I said， “I have just one question for you guys， and it‘s about the title of the show， ’A Black Woman Stole My Job。‘ Actually， it’s about one word in the title。 I want to know about the word ‘my。’ Where did you get the idea it was your job？ Why isn‘t the title of the show， ’A Black Woman Got the Job？‘ or ’A Black Woman Got A Job？‘” Because without confronting men’s sense of entitlement， I don‘t think we’ll ever understand why so many men resist gender equality。

　　Look， we think this is a level playing field， so any policy that tilts it even a little bit， we think， “Oh my God， water‘s rushing uphill。 It’s reverse discrimination against us。”

　　So let me be very clear： white men in Europe and the United States are the beneficiaries of the single greatest affirmative action program in the history of the world。 It is called “the history of the world。”

　　So， now I‘ve established some of the obstacles to engaging men， but why should we support gender equality？ Of course， it’s fair， it‘s right and it’s just。 But more than that， gender equality is also in our interest as men。 If you listen to what men say about what they want in their lives， gender equality is actually a way for us to get the lives we want to live。

　　Gender equality is good for countries。 It turns out， according to most studies， that those countries that are the most gender equal are also the countries that score highest on the happiness scale。 And that‘s not just because they’re all in Europe。

　　Even within Europe， those countries that are more gender equal also have the highest levels of happiness。

　　It is also good for companies。 Research by Catalyst and others has shown conclusively that the more gender-equal companies are， the better it is for workers， the happier their labor force is。 They have lower job turnover。 They have lower levels of attrition。 They have an easier time recruiting。 They have higher rates of retention， higher job satisfaction， higher rates of productivity。 So the question I‘m often asked in companies is， “Boy， this gender equality thing， that’s really going to be expensive， huh？” And I say， “Oh no， in fact， what you have to start calculating is how much gender inequality is already costing you。 It is extremely expensive。” So it is good for business。

　　And the other thing is， it‘s good for men。 It is good for the kind of lives we want to live， because young men especially have changed enormously， and they want to have lives that are animated by terrific relationships with their children。 They expect their partners， their spouses， their wives， to work outside the home and be just as committed to their careers as they are。

　　I was talking， to give you an illustration of this change -- Some of you may remember this。 When I was a lot younger， there was a riddle that was posed to us。 Some of you may wince to remember this riddle。 This riddle went something like this。

　　A man and his son are driving on the freeway， and they‘re in a terrible accident， and the father is killed， and the son is brought to the hospital emergency room， and as they’re bringing the son into the hospital emergency room， the emergency room attending physician sees the boy and says， “Oh， I can‘t treat him， that’s my son。” How is this possible？

　　We were flummoxed by this。 We could not figure this out。

　　Well， I decided to do a little experiment with my 16-year old son。 He had a bunch of his friends hanging out at the house watching a game on TV recently。 So I decided I would pose this riddle to them， just to see， to gauge the level of change。 Well， 16-year-old boys， they immediately turned to me and said， “It‘s his mom。” Right？ No problem。 Just like that。 Except for my son， who said， “Well， he could have two dads。”

　　That‘s an index， an indicator of how things have changed。 Younger men today expect to be able to balance work and family。 They want to be dual-career， dual-carer couples。 They want to be able to balance work and family with their partners。 They want to be involved fathers。

　　Now， it turns out that the more egalitarian our relationships， the happier both partners are。 Data from psychologists and sociologists are quite persuasive here。 I think we have the persuasive numbers， the data， to prove to men that gender equality is not a zero-sum game， but a win-win。 Here‘s what the data show。 Now， when men begin the process of engaging with balancing work and family， we often have two phrases that we use to describe what we do。 We pitch in and we help out。

　　And I‘m going to propose something a little bit more radical， one word： “share。”

　　Because here‘s what the data show： when men share housework and childcare， their children do better in school。 Their children have lower rates of absenteeism， higher rates of achievement。 They are less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD。 They are less likely to see a child psychiatrist。 They are less likely to be put on medication。

　　So when men share housework and childcare， their children are happier and healthier， and men want this。

　　When men share housework and childcare， their wives are happier。 Duh。 Not only that， their wives are healthier。 Their wives are less likely to see a therapist， less likely to be diagnosed with depression， less likely to be put on medication， more likely to go to the gym， report higher levels of marital satisfaction。 So when men share housework and childcare， their wives are happier and healthier， and men certainly want this as well。 When men share housework and childcare， the men are healthier。 They smoke less， drink less， take recreational drugs less often。 They are less likely to go to the ER but more like to go to a doctor for routine screenings。 They are less likely to see a therapist， less likely to be diagnosed with depression， less likely to be taking prescription medication。 So when men share housework and childcare， the men are happier and healthier。 And who wouldn‘t want that？

　　And finally， when men share housework and childcare， they have more sex。

　　Now， of these four fascinating findings， which one do you think Men‘s Health magazine put on its cover？

　　“Housework Makes Her Horny。 （Not When She Does It。）”

　　Now， I will say， just to remind the men in the audience， these data were collected over a really long period of time， so I don‘t want listeners to say， “Hmm， OK， I think I’ll do the dishes tonight。” These data were collected over a really long period of time。 But I think it shows something important， that when Men‘s Health magazine put it on their cover， they also called， you’ll love this， “Choreplay。”

　　So， what we found is something really important， that gender equality is in the interest of countries， of companies， and of men， and their children and their partners， that gender equality is not a zero-sum game。 It‘s not a win-lose。 It is a win-win for everyone。 And what we also know is we cannot fully empower women and girls unless we engage boys and men。 We know this。 And my position is that men need the very things that women have identified that they need to live the lives they say they want to live in order to live the lives that we say we want to live。

　　In 1915， on the eve of one of the great suffrage demonstrations down Fifth Avenue in New York City， a writer in New York wrote an article in a magazine， and the title of the article was， “Feminism for Men。” And this was the first line of that article： “Feminism will make it possible for the first time for men to be free。”

　　Thank you。

　　我现在要邀请各位男士支持性别平等

　　不对，等一下，你说什么？ 性别平等跟男人有什么关系？ 性别平等是女人的事吧！ 难道“性别”这个词不就指的是女性吗？ 我现在演讲的身份就是，一个中产阶级白种男人 其实，我并不是“生来”就是一个中产阶级白种男人 而一切都始于三十年前，我还在读研的时候 有一天，我们一群研究生聚在一起 说起，那时候有一股 有关女性主义话题的写作以及思考的热潮 然而却并没有这方面的课程 通常在这种情况下，研究生们就要组织个学习小组啦 然后我们就搞了一个学习小组 读读文献，讨论一下 然后再来个百乐餐

　　所以每周，我和其他11个女孩子一起

　　我们会阅读关于女性主义的文章并且相互讨论 然而目睹其中一次对话的经历 彻底改变了我的人生 那是两个女生在讨论 一个是白人，另一个是黑人 白种女生说 ——现在听起来是非常荒谬的—— 白种女生说，“所有的女性，都承受着同样的压迫。 在这个父权制的社会，女性都处在同一地位 所以，所有女性都会出于直觉地团结在一起，视彼此为姐妹。“ 而那个黑人女生说，“我有不同的看法。 那我问你个问题，” 黑人女生问白人女生 “你每天早上醒来，对着镜子 你看到什么？” “我看到的是我，一个女人。”白人女生回答 黑人女生说，“你看，这就是我的问题 因为我每天早上醒来对着镜子 我看到的是我，一个黑种女人。 对于我来说，种族差异是可见的，而对你，种族观念是无形的。你是感受不到的。” 之后她说的话很令我震撼 她说，“这就是特权。 对于拥有的人来说，它是无形的 我想对这个屋子里所有的白人说 能够不用时时刻刻把种族放在心上，这是种奢侈。“ 特权对于拥有它的人来说是无形的

　　还记得吗，我是那个组里唯一的男生 所以当我目睹了这次讨论之后，我说：“哎呀，糟糕”

　　有人问我，“你干嘛这个反应呀？” 我说，“你看，我每天早上醒来，对着镜子 我只会想，我是一个人 我的唯一属性就是人 我是一个中产阶级白种男性，没有种族、阶级或者性别的意识 简直是全世界皆可通用的身份了。

　　我想大概就是从那时候开始，我成为了一个中产阶级白人男性 阶级、种族以及性别不再只是别人的事情了 我也有份 我开始思考这些问题 意识到自己一直以来拥有着这种特权而不自知

　　这就是三十年前在那个讨论组里发生的小故事 我本以为这个事情就过去了 而最近我因为上课又想起来这件事 我和一位女性同事 轮流教授性别课程 我授课的时候她会来做客座教授 她授课的时候我去做客座教授 一次我作为客座教授去给她的班级上课 教室里大概有300个学生 当我走进教室的时候，一个学生抬起头说到 “哦，终于有个能说点客观看法的人了！”

　　所以整个学期，只要我的同事一开口 学生们想到的就是，“她是个女人” 只要她说 “美国社会存在针对女性的结构性不平等，” 他们就会说，”你当然这么觉得啦 你是女人，你是有偏见的。” 而当我说同样的话，他们会说“嗯，有点意思。

　　这个考试会考到吗？’结构性‘几个字怎么写？”

　　所以我要让你们看看 什么叫客观

　　虚无缥缈的西方式理性

　　而且我觉得，这也是为什么男人打领带的原因

　　因为如果你想要表现这种空洞的西方式的理性 就需要一个象征物 而有什么能比这种一头是套索，另一头指向男性生殖器的服饰 更能代表这种无实质的西方式理性呢？

　　这不就是身心二元论嘛

　　所以，让男性意识到性别的存在 是让男性加入到争取性别平等行列的第一步。

　　很多男人第一次听到性别平等的时候 当他们第一次思考性别平等的时候 通常会想 嗯没错，男女平等是正确的，是公平的 在道德层面讲是必要的 但不是所有男人都会这么想 一闪念过后 他们会想，哦对，性别平等啊 然后他们就立即开始向你讲述你的困扰 在他们心里，支持性别平等就如同救赎一样 “非常感谢，女士们，感谢你们提出来， 我们会谨记在心。“ 我把这个称为“过早自我陶醉综合症“

　　不过还有另外一群人 坚决反对性别平等 他们认为性别平等对男性不利 一次我在一档电视节目里 和四位白种男人辩论 这也是我写的《愤怒的白种男人》这本书的开头 他们四位就非常愤怒 认为在美国的职场， 白种男性才是这种歧视的受害者 他们讲的都是，他们如何的适合一份工作 如何应该得到晋升 但是却没有得到工作或者晋升机会，因而怒气冲冲 我讲这个是想让你们听听 这档节目的名字 名字取自其中一个男人说过的话 他说 “黑人女人偷走了我的工作” 他们讲着自己的故事 理应得到工作，理应升迁 然而失败了，他们很愤怒 轮到我说话了 我说，我只想问你们一个问题 关于这个节目的名字的 “黑人女人偷走了我的工作” 其实我就想问里面的一个词 我想知道，这个“我的”是哪来的 你凭什么认为这就该是你的工作？ 为什么名字不是“黑人女人得到了那份工作”？ 或者“黑人女人得到了工作”？ 因为如果不去面对男性这种自认有权得到一切的心理 我们就不可能理解为什么男人如此抗拒性别平等

　　这就是我们以为的“公平的“环境 所以一旦有政策稍稍倾斜 就有人觉得，天啊，大事不好了 这简直就是对我们的歧视啊

　　我希望大家能认识到 在欧洲和美国的白种男性 是历史上伟大的平权运动中 最大的受益者 这就是所谓的“世界史”

　　现在我说的都是阻碍男性参与性别平等运动的障碍 那么为什么我们要支持性别平等呢？ 没错，这是正确的事，公正的事 然而不止于此， 性别平等对男性来说 也是有利的 如果你去听听男性心中的理想生活 就会明白 性别平等是可以帮助我们过上我们理想的生活的

　　性别平等对国家来说也是有益的 多项研究显示 那些相对来说男女地位更加平等的社会 幸福度也是越高的 注意 并不只是因为他们都是欧洲国家啊

　　在欧洲范围内，也是男女越平等 幸福度越高

　　性别平等对公司来讲也是好事 Catalyst 以及其他一些机构的调查显示 如果一家公司对待男女的方式越平等 对于员工是越有利的 员工的幸福度会更高 工作流动率更低，员工也会更专心工作 这样的公司更容易招揽人才 员工的忠诚度和工作满足感都更高 生产率也会提高 在公司里我经常被问到的问题是 哦，你说的这个性别平等，要花很多钱吧 我说，并不是的，你反倒要算算 性别不平等浪费了你多少钱 性别不平等才费钱呢 所以性别平等也会促进商业

　　另外，性别平等对男性是有利的 会帮助男性过上我们想要的生活 因为现在年轻男性的想法变了 他们希望可以 和自己的孩子们保持良好的父子关系 他们乐见自己的伴侣，自己的妻子 走出家门去工作 和自己一样 投入地经营事业

　　我来讲一件事 可以大概让你们知道改变有多大 你们可能有人会记得 当我还年轻的时候，那时候有道脑筋急转弯题目 你们可能有人还记得这个 那道题是这样的

　　说一个男人在高速上开车载着他儿子 突然发生了很严重的车祸 父亲死了 儿子被送到急诊室 当这个儿子被推进去的时候 急诊室的当班大夫看到这个男孩说 我不能救治他啊，他是我的儿子 这是怎么回事呢？

　　我们都傻眼了 完全想不出怎么回事

　　我打算拿我16岁的儿子做个实验 那天他正和一群朋友 在家里看电视 我打算拿这道题考考他们 看看我们这两代的差别 这群16岁的男孩子 很快就转向我，说，因为那是他的妈妈 就是这么回事！ 而我儿子说，嗯 也有可能他有两个爸爸

　　从这就能看出时代在变化 年轻一代的男性希望他们可以平衡工作和生活 他们想要兼顾事业和家庭 和他们的伴侣一起 参与到孩子们的生活

　　事实证明 婚姻中双方关系越平等 夫妻的幸福感会越高 心理学家和社会学家的研究数据都很有说服力 我想我们是可以拿着这些数据去说服男性同胞们 告诉他们性别平等不是零和博弈，而是一场双赢 数据显示 对了，当男性参与到平衡 工作和家庭的事务中时 我们经常会用两个词形容 男人来“搭把手”或者“帮帮忙”

　　现在我想换一个更激进的词 叫“共同分担”

　　数据显示 当男性开始分担家务、照料孩子 孩子在学校的表现会提高 这些孩子的缺勤率更低 表现更好 患注意力不集中症的概率更小 患儿童精神疾病的概率更小 甚至更少生病

　　也就是说，当男人开始分担家务和照顾孩子之后 孩子们可以变得更健康更快乐 而这也是男人所希望的

　　当男人开始分担家务和照顾孩子之后 他们的太太们更开心（这还用说吗） 不仅如此，太太们也会更健康 她们更少生病 患抑郁症的几率下降 吃药的几率下降并更愿意去健身房锻炼 婚姻的满足感更高 所以 当男人开始分担家务和照顾孩子 他们的太太会更健康 更开心 而这也是男人们想要的 另外，当男人开始分担家务和照顾孩子 他们自己也会变的更健康 喝酒抽烟少了，用消遣性药品的次数也少了 不用再常跑急诊室了 只是会更经常地去医院做例行体检 不再常去看心理医生 患抑郁症的几率下降 更少生病 当男人开始分担家务和照顾孩子之后 他们自己变得更健康 更开心 难道有人不想吗？

　　最后 当男人开始分担家务和照顾孩子之后 他们做爱的次数更多了

　　好吧，你猜这四项研究结果当中 哪一个会登上 男士健康 的杂志封面？

　　“家务令她更性感” （当做家务的人不是她）

　　不过 我要提醒在座的男士 这些数据可是通过长期观察得来的 我可不想听到有人说 哦，那好，今晚我来洗碗好了 这个结果不是一天两天就得到的 男士健康杂志会把这个调查结果放上封面 起个名字叫 “家务游戏”，我知道你们会喜欢这个 这其实表明了一个很重要的事实

　　这就是 性别平等是对各方都有利的 对国家 对企业，对男性 对他们的孩子以及伴侣来说都如此 性别平等不是一种零和博弈 不是哪方非赢即输 而是对于每个人来说的共赢局面 我们要明确 只有当我们让男人以及男孩们加入到我们的行列 才可以真正赋予女人和女孩儿们平等权利 我们要明确这一点 而且我认为 如果男同胞们想要过上我们理想中的生活 我们需要的正是 和女性过上她们理想生活所需要的一样的东西

　　那是1915年，纽约第五大道上 还有为争取女性选举权游行的人群 一天夜里，纽约的一位作家在为杂志写稿 文章的题目是 “给男性的女性主义” 文章开头第一句话是 “女性主义会首次开启一个真正解放男性的时代”

　　谢谢各位