Don'tLetAngerGettheBestofYou

　　向冲冠怒发说拜拜

　　尽管大家都知道气大伤身的道理，但火冒三丈的经历可能人人都曾有过。究竟怎样才能在生活中保持一种平和的心态 呢？让我们尝试用《读者文摘》开出的药方一同为心灵疗伤！

　　You'relateforajob

　　interviewwhentrafficslowstoacrawl.Atthesupermarket, acustomerwheelingafullcartcutsaheadofyouinthe

　　expresscheck-outline.Youspendmonthsonamake-itorbrea k-itproject,andyourlazycolleaguelandsthepromotion.

　　Feelthatburn?Beforeyouimplodewithrageoreruptintoata ntrum,takeadeepbreathandrememberthis:Angerhurts.Studyaf terstudyhasfoundthathighlevelsofangerandhostilityareass ociatedwithgreaterriskforheartdisease,poorimmunerespons es,andevena

　　propensityforobesity.

　　Besides,itdoesn'tmatterwhetheryoureleasetheang erorholditin,expertssay.Theeffectsonyourhealtharethesam e."Angerisanger,"saysRedfordWilliams,M.D.,directorofthe Behavioral

　　MedicineResearchCenteratDukeUniversityMedicalCenter andco-authorofthebookLifeSkills."Bothareharmfultohealth ."

　　Thegoodnewsis,itispossibletocontrolyouranger.

　　"Byevaluatingitandusing

　　varioustechniques,youcantalkyourselfoutofit,"Willia mssays."That'swhat'sniceaboutushumans:Wecanal waysdosomethingornotdosomethingtochangeourbehavior."

　　Takestock

　　Manypeoplewhoareangrydon'trecognize

　　themselvesasangry,accordingtoKnoxvillepsychologistR ichardDriscoll.Hesuggeststhatyouaskyourselfthesequestio nstomeasureyourangerquotient:Doyoufeelasifyouarefrequen tlymistreatedbyothers?Doyouoften

　　considerminorinconveniencestobepersonalattacksagain styou?Doyoucomplainoften?Doyouexaggeratetheactionsofoth ersortaketheiraffrontspersonally?Ontheroad,doyoufrequen tlycurseotherdrivers,tothepointthat

　　drivinghasbecomeunpleasant?

　　Keeparecord

　　Manypeopleareunawareofwhatticksthemoff,saysJerryDef fenbacher,Ph.D.,aprofessorofpsychologyattheUniversityof ColoradoinFortCollins."Forlotsofus,ourangersortofhappen s,"hesays."Wedon'tknowwhatitcomesfrom.We'reju ston

　　automaticpilot."

　　Togetabettersenseofwhatmakesyoumad,keepajournalofsi tuationsthatrileyou.Reflectonwhytheysetyouoffandmakeyou feelwronged.Askyourselfhonestlywhetheryourangerisjustif ied.Bywritingdownfeelingsandsituations,you'llbecom emoreawareoftheeventsthatgetyourireandmaybeevenavoidthe m.

　　Changeoraccept

　　Whenyoufeelangerwellingup,takeachange-itoraccept-it approach.If,forexample,yourneighbor'sgarbageisflut teringintoyouryardyetagain,it'stimetoputyourproble m-solvingskillsintomotion.Calmlydiscussthe

　　situation,andlookforwaystochangeit.

　　Ifyoucan'tdoanythingaboutthesituation ——therud edriverwhojustcutyouoffhasleftthescene ——worktoputyoura ngeronholdrightthenandthere.Acceptthatyoucan'tdoan ythingaboutit,takesomedeepbreaths,andmoveontosomethinge lse.

　　Don'ttakeitpersonally

　　Howmanytimeshaveyousaidtoyourself,"Thatshouldn&apos ;thavehappenedtome"or"Idon't

　　deservethat"?Suchthinkingcaneasilysetoffangryfeelin gs.Butsmartpeoplerealizethat,

　　sometimes,the

　　water-on-the-back-of-a-duck

　　approachisthebestwaytodealwithmanyoflife'sunfa irnesses.

　　"ManyofushaveaGod-likeorlittle-kid-likementalitytha tweshouldn'tbeimposedupon,

　　frustrated,orhavethingshappentous,"Deffenbachersays ."That'sademandingkindofthinking.Factis,you'r egoingtohaveyourbaserateofcrummythingshappentoyou."Theb etterableyouaretoacceptthat,thelessangryyou'llbe.

　　Stopdwellingonthepast

　　Ifyoustillrememberaminorinfractionlongafterithappen ed,it'stimetoletgo.Lifehasmovedon,andsoshouldyou.P racticeunderstandingpeoplewhohavedealtyouminorwrongs.Th inkoftheproblemashavingbeencausedbythesituation,notthep erson.Ifit'samoreseriousmatter,suchaschildhoodabus eoran

　　unfaithfulspouse,considerseeingatherapisttohelpyouw orkthroughandreleasethepain,saysSusanHeitler,Ph.D.,a

　　psychologistinDenver.

　　Adjustyourroutine

　　Ifyou'vebeenkeepingtrackofyouranger,youknowwha tsetsyouoff.Usethatinformationtoavoidupsettingsituation s.Forinstance,ifyouknowthatthegrocerystoreiscrowdedonwe ekends,shopafterwork.Byavoidingfrustratingsituations,yo udodgeanger.

　　Ultimately,thewaysyou

　　reacttoupsettingsituationsandexpressyourangercomefr omacombinationofseveralfactors,

　　includinggenetics,upbringing,andculture.Yourrespons ealsovariesbyday,dependingonyourmoodandevenhowtiredyoua re.

　　Fortunately,angrypeoplecanlearntobecomehappypeople.

　　"Wejusthavethispersonalitytypethatsometimesgetsusin totrouble,"Williamssays."You'llalwayshavethattende ncytogetangry.Butyoucanprobably

　　controlitenoughtokeepitfromdamagingyourhealth."

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